Friday Fictioneers #8

24 Apr

This is my Friday Fictioneers contribution for the week.  The prompt can be found here.

Together

Together they sat. Against the backdrop of the village, electric stars twinkling in the sky. Father and son; mirrors, if time had not disrupted the symmetry.

Together they played. Father played regret, and son played yearning. Their songs began at different places; the conflicting chords screamed in pain.

Together they played. The screams gave way to a solo; through his guitar, the father spoke to the son, yelled at the son. The son’s fingers strummed a response; muted, breathy with the undercurrents of rage.

Together they sat. Silently. Staring. A stand-off.

Then, as if by mutual agreement, they played. Together.

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18 Responses to “Friday Fictioneers #8”

  1. Björn Rudberg (brudberg) April 24, 2014 at 12:17 am #

    That sounds like a wonderful tension created in music… how it should be…

    • mscwhite April 24, 2014 at 8:37 am #

      Thank you!

  2. subroto April 24, 2014 at 12:24 am #

    Lovely writing. Strikes a chord (no pun intended).

    • mscwhite April 24, 2014 at 8:37 am #

      Thanks so much! Love the pun in your comment!

  3. helenmidgley April 24, 2014 at 5:44 am #

    The tension almost had a melody of its own, great job 🙂

    • mscwhite April 24, 2014 at 8:36 am #

      Thanks for your kind words.

  4. aliciajamtaas April 24, 2014 at 6:26 am #

    Wonderful father – son duel which comes around to contentment. (you might want to change the “my” to “by” in the last line.

    • mscwhite April 24, 2014 at 8:36 am #

      Thanks! Typo is now fixed!

  5. patriciaruthsusan April 24, 2014 at 9:23 pm #

    I like this story of the father and son speaking through their music and reaching a happy ending. 🙂 Creative use of the prompt and well written.

    • mscwhite April 27, 2014 at 12:51 am #

      Thanks!

  6. sustainabilitea April 24, 2014 at 10:39 pm #

    I really like your creative take on the prompt. The music metaphor works so well for what you’re conveying and I like that they were actually playing music as well. Good job!

    janet

    • mscwhite April 27, 2014 at 12:51 am #

      I am so glad that you think it works on both levels… I was not sure how clear that intention was!

  7. rochellewisoff April 25, 2014 at 7:16 pm #

    Dear MSC,

    The metaphor works. It’s nice that they actually come to a place where they’re in unison. Lovely.

    Shalom,

    Rochelle

    • mscwhite April 27, 2014 at 12:52 am #

      All arguments and hurts can be resolved… eventually!

  8. elappleby April 25, 2014 at 10:29 pm #

    Brilliant. I like the way the symmetry mentioned in the story is reflected in the structure. And the conversation between father and son via their music. Great stuff.

    • mscwhite April 27, 2014 at 12:53 am #

      Thank you so much!

  9. lingeringvisions by Dawn April 26, 2014 at 8:14 am #

    What a wonderful duel!

  10. francischristianlubag April 28, 2014 at 1:21 am #

    Such an eloquent storyteller. I’ve read a lot of father and son stories based on the prompt, but this is perhaps one of the most well-written pieces. Great job. Cheers!

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