Friday Fictioneers #22

27 Feb

I must get back into the habit of regular writing!  This week’s Friday Fictioneers contribution does not flow as well as I would like, but I can’t quite seem to fix it and meet the word limit requirements.

Scouting

Mother’s decision to enrol me in Girl Scouts was met with much resistance

Father resented Mother’s attempt to transform me into the son he’d always wished for; my eldest sister, Feminist Fran, was appalled by the sexist tendency to name Boy Scouts after animals and Girl Scouts after baked goods; and Grandma was worried that I would be eaten by a bear.

Recognising the futility of resistance, Grandpa offered some advice: “if you are lost, follow the animal tracks.”

Lost.  Alone.

Panic.

Calm.

As I walked, I wondered which animal was responsible for the metal-like tracks that I was following.

Advertisements

3 Responses to “Friday Fictioneers #22”

  1. Michael B. Fishman February 27, 2015 at 9:58 pm #

    You may not have been quite happy with the flow of the story but I liked it. I thought you captured the uncertainty of the young girl well. The only hiccup in the story for me was the word “Calm.” because I didn’t know how she went from panic to calm so quickly or smoothly.

    • mscwhite February 28, 2015 at 7:11 am #

      Yes – that section is exactly the section that I struggled to make work. I wanted to convey that she calmed down because she remembered Grandpa’s advice, but I couldn’t make it work properly while also staying within the 100 words limit. Thanks for the feedback!

  2. Margaret March 1, 2015 at 7:05 pm #

    I like this story. It flows well. I really like the ideas in the second paragraph.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: