This is my Friday Fictioneers contribution for the week. The prompt can be found here.
Re-building
She places her palm against the body of the building and absorbs the warmth that seeps through the brick. Her fingers caress the time-worn exterior, tracing the porous patterns on bricks that seem to breathe.
His fingers grab at her posterior, kneading patterns into her body that block her ability to breathe. He pushes her roughly against the building. The warmth of her shame seeps through the brick.
The heat of a mother’s pain warms the icy bricks and grief steals her will to breathe. The building supports her body as her fingers fail to find her daughter’s final fingerholds.
Once uPUN a time... 
Sad one.
LikeLike
I think this is a really impressive piece of writing – the ‘relationship’ with the bricks especially. I read it a few times and got more each time. Excellent.
LikeLike
Thanks so much!
Originally, I had wanted to keep the elements in a pattern, with each paragraph starting with the element that the previous paragraph had ended with… however, I could not quite make that work.
I am glad that what I ended up with with still effective.
LikeLike
This is what fiction should be … really each “stanza” adds another layer of sadness… really the last one made my heart stop
LikeLike
Thanks so much for your kind words! I struggled with the wording of the final ‘stanza’ for a while as I was not quite sure how to most effectively explain the mix of anguish, grief and loss. I am stoked that the wording chosen produced the desired effect.
LikeLike
And the title works perfectly.
janet
LikeLike
Yay! Normally when I write for Friday Fictioneers I start with the title and the story flows from there. This time, the title only suggested itself after I had finished writing the story.
LikeLike
Dear MSC,
A sad one, layer upon layer.
Shalom,
Rochelle
LikeLike
Very well crafted, layer after layer. A sad story so subtly conveyed.
LikeLike
love the subtle details in this story. makes me wonder what will happen next. well done.
LikeLike
So sad a story. I liked the way the brickwork is woven in throughout.
LikeLike
A sad but lovely story of a mother’s love that continues on through time. Well written
LikeLike
Achingly poignant and brillaintly told-kudos!
LikeLike
*Brilliantly I meant
LikeLike
Such a sad story but you tell it to perfection! The poor mother can not reach her child. Wow this was intense! Brick upon brick, you keep building a sadder tale. EXCELLENT! Nan 🙂
LikeLike